>The billionaire CEO claims the new steering wheel-less, pedal-less Cybercab goes into production in April. But Tesla doesn’t have a regulatory exemption needed to sell it — it hasn't even applied for it. Why should Tesla waste time to apply for self driving permissions? Musk will just come out and say that humanoid robots are a distraction, and Tesla is a space elevator manufacturer.
No steering wheel and pedals and Tesla somehow forgot to get the exemption from the US regulatory bureau (National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, or NHTSA). But we will see a million Cybercabs next year, pinky promise.
I hope I live to see the day that he crashes and burns but it's weird that Elizabeth Holmes is in prison for what he does regularly. Or so it seems.
It does not matter! Tesla is not a car manufacturer and the Cybercab is not a car! In this respect, Tesla doesn't have to worry about the dusty FMVSS regulations and of course the NHTSA has nothing to do with the Cybercab because it's not a car, because - every child knows this - otherwise it would have pedals and a steering wheel. Every car has pedals and a steering wheel. . Musk is a genius!
Thinking he ever could is super delusional
No need to apply. We live in the Mad Max MAGA dystopia. Rules and regulations are for the poor masses.
The Fugees‘ singer Pras Michél got a 14 years prison sentence for campaign finance violations yesterday, a similar thing Musk did multiple times. But he killed everything with DOGE.
I know you’re being sarcastic but that’s how they actually think at Tesla. It’s not how do we get this to work it’s how do we word this to get it to market regardless of working conditions.
But Tesla isnt a space elevator manufacturer. Its an Asteroid mining company.
Oh no… Well. Anyway. Seriously though: he will still sell it and simply not deliver.
All being towed by CyberTrucks using FSD.
Dude we’ll have so much palladium nobody will ever have to work again
"We’ll be starting production in April next year.” April 1. And ofc next year. All you need to know.
Bro that’s old news. Tesla is now a Terraforming company. Says we’re gonna be walking naked on Europa in a decade, watching the Jupiterset.
>watching the Jupiterset Europa is tidally locked to jupiter.
>:(
Sorry. Also the \> sign will make the rest into a quoted text. \>:( will turn into: >:( If you want to type \>:( you have to type \\>:( like this: \>:(
Wow what are the odds a Republican ever sees a jail cell for their numerous crimes?
Yeah sorry, you'll just be blasted with the full-cancer effect of always staring Jupiter straight on.
Are you sure they wont be towing CyberTrucks considering how reliable those are?
Driven by Optimus. Who will be steered by AI. Which is Another Indian.
Various ex Trump staffers from his first election ended up in jail. Not enough, not Trump, but some.
Dude don't give him anymore ideas.....
He doesn't need our help for stupid ideas. He has Taybot for that.
Promise something he can’t sell due to regulations, stock price goes up. Then he complains about government overreach when he can’t deliver.
He still should’ve kept it professional. Even if she crossed a line, responding with an insult just shows he can’t control himself. Two wrongs don’t make a right.
Funny thing: HW5 (or AI5 as Tesla calls it) has officially been pushed to 2027. Some Tesla-fanboys and news-outlets derived from that, that the Cybercab will be based on HW4 instead of HW5 as planned. I would have derived from that, that there won’t be a Cybercab in 2026, but hey, what do I know.
I don’t know why anybody would take anything he says seriously. This is all just very strange.
I think they said AI5 won't be pushed out "in volume" until 2027. You have always got to look out for safe harbor wording with Tesla. Now we know that really means that HW5 won't be available until 2027, but in theory they could have a handful of pre-production samples that they stuff into one or two pre-production Cybercabs that "launch" much earlier than they are ever ready for sale /use. They then tick off a vesting milestone, but don't deliver real product until years later blaming "ramp delays".
Even if they should get an exemption for the US, that is only a third of their market.
Damn Indians taking the jobs of hard working robots!!! Wait, that‘s the plot of a Futurama episode!
Musk will use his immense cyber gravitron ™️ genius model to solve for tidal locking (He will flood the world's water supply with so much ket that we share his delusions)
>his immense cyber gravitron I heard that was botched in some work he had done?
MUSK =🤡
I suspect that whenever a cyber cab is released for sale to the public it will fail like a cyber truck. The amount of people interested in this product is small. No one wants an expensive new car with the added job of cleaning and repairing after strangers trash it. There will be no government handout to make it affordable. I guarantee Tesla will end up stuck using these for their taxi service at best. I only wish the car were unique enough to stand out on the road so everyone could be super aware when seeing morons in public.
Not with that mindset! The Texas Nuke Terafactory is going to manufacture one million Tesla™ Cyber Nukes© and carpet bombing Europa into spinning! MAKE EUROPA GREAT AGAIN! Musk just deserves a trillon dollar a day stipend from the United Nations just for the idea!
The never working again thing from these leeches is so laughable. They spend billions to lobby or support candidates to reduce their taxes, get more govt grants or contracts, and reduce their regulations and yet try to claim when no one works somehow magically everything will be like earth in startrek.
About the only ones working hard it seems.
No one would insure them so you would have to use Teslas insurance which will fight tooth and nail to blame you.
Luckily Elon Musk is beloved in Europe No wait
You spelled “ketamine” funny
We’ll need a new line to tow them all. Just long sad trains of broken promises and crappy half baked ideas. We won’t even be able to live in them because they’re all designed to lock when they run out of power or whatever bungled battery tech gets invented next will burst into flames if you don’t keep it charged above 90%.
He would never admit he can’t deliver, he just moves onto a new set of promises.
I'm just imagining the poor graphic designer working with that cybercab logo Designer: since this is new technology packed into a new car, I wanted to give the logo an element of timelessness to instill trust while having a futuristic feel of old NASA logos Elon: No! It should be cool and anti-establishment. I want graffiti! Designer: ooook yeah, there's some pretty elaborate street art. Maybe a semi-wildstyle could- Elon: No! I want it to look like the shittiest tag you've ever seen! Designer:....... Elon: just rip off the Cyberpunk 2077 logo. I'm a graphic design genius Designer:........ T-T
/s shocked
Spoiler alert: that’s the plot of For All Mankind season 4. Except iridium.
Stock to $500 Just wait for him to complain about "pesky regulators" as he conveniently forgets all of the very few guardrails we have
It will be priced below $30k, yeah okay. Is this consumer pricing or for businesses buying them in fleets? Anyway, no thanks I like my cars with steering wheels and brake pedals
They’ll form some weird mobius strip of towing one another.
At 30,000. LOL That's the same price as a Camry. That's how we know it's going to be vaporware. Or maybe 75,000 when it is delivered in 2045.
Reinvention of the San Francisco style cable car pending. They'll just need a sexy tech name for it.
You listed steps 1-3. Step 4: Stock price goes up.
What's interesting is Tesla released the current incident reports for cybercab which shows their rates are still worse than Waymo and had a nice disclaimer that any incident that a driver or passenger had to take over control to mitigate were not included on their incident rates...
I mean he is... By a minority in Germany specifically
Space escalator* ... Musk can't claim to have invented the concept of the space elevator so he will call it something else so that people thing he is smart
That is even older news... Tesla is an intergalactic federation of planets
Better cut back on the ketamine, F'Elon
The Tesla Centipede
All good. Money will be irrelevant in 10 years. We won't need this appreciating, profit making machine.
Hopefully Elon personally decides to go visit LV-426.
Musk will soon announce that he is forming a new space mining company named Weyland-Yutani. It is later revealed that a ship of space miners has been killed by a unknown creature. Tesla stock price soars.
THE FUCKING CYBERCAB DOES NOT EXIST TO SELL
r/NoShitSherlock The whole Robotaxi program has been fake. FSD doesn't work and they have no idea how to make it work. It clearly needs more sensors, compute power, and/or better mapping. But Elon is trying to fake it 'til you make it. The hilarious thing is Wall Street is so dumb that they fell for it.
Rules exist to prevent fraud of this level, with imminent public danger. The fact that he has not been prosecuted clearly shows republicans are fascist propping up an autocracy. The bootlicker voter base must be overshadowed and the 60% that didn't vote the last election need to show up.
Even the cheap Tesla with half the features stripped only costs a few thousands less. He has no idea how car works and what it takes to manufacture them (cheaply) Luckily he's not in charge of a... Oh wait! He is!
>Dude we’ll have so much palladium nobody will ever have to work again Catalytic converter thieves in shambles.
In Star Trek, there's a lot of strife between now & the Warp 5 program in 125 years.
Serious question: what is the proposed business model for Cybertaxi that is being pitched to investors and potential Tesla customers? I'm not asking if it is real or not, I'm asking what is being PITCHED for the future. Pick one: A. Tesla's Taxi service A fully autonomous fleet of vehicles that Tesla will own and operate as a paid service provider to riders (like Waymo currently does) B. An income earning asset for Tesla Customers A fully autonomous vehicle that a person buys outright, they can't drive it and they run a taxi service to generate income for themselves while they sleep or be on vacation. C. A Part time Taxi Service for Tesla Customers. A fully autonomous vehicle that the drive/sit in most of the time and when they don't need it, they use it to generate income as taxi service. D. Other (Provide your own answer)
We gotta pump those numbers up, those are rookie numbers.
I'm not saying this a fair sentence or that Elon will ever see the consequences he deserves, but it's worth mentioning that Pras was indicted under the Biden administration, before Elon's 2024 election rat fucking.
They can't legally sell the Roadster or Semi either, as they are also fictional products just like the Cybercab.
What? How dare anyone imply that the defender of the light of consciousness, the anti woke crusader, would be claiming things that aren't based in facts!
Strangely, he was sentenced for doing this for Obama II and Trump I.
I clicked the link to this article and was met with a full screen video ad. Fuck off Forbes.
His speedrun style is starting to break apart. Go Fast and Break Things really isn't turning out to be a good mantra for end users.
Don't worry, they'll "produce" 5 or 10 for exclusive use on the plant property and say he hit his goal to "start production".
>Serious question: what is the proposed business model for Cybertaxi? Looks like initially it will be a ride service that Tesla runs to try to show they accomplished something. If it actually works without safety drivers, they could farm it out to fleet operators and take a cut of the profits. Plus sell cars to individuals who want to take a nap on the way to work, or send their kids to school unattended. No way individuals will make money renting their cars out, due to insurance requirements and having to compete with the fleets. Long term, Tesla has better things to do than clean up puke in the back seat of cars.
Wow how shocking! Nope, not at all shocking.
Elon lying again? You don't say
If we only look at Option A, the idea is that these cars won't have steering wheels, brakes etc and can't be driven normally, right?
Unknown yet, but either way my comments apply. Individual car owners will not be able to compete with fleets for autonomous vehicle rentals, except maybe in rural areas not served by fleets. So the main reason for individuals to buy a "Cybercab" would be for their own convenience.
Like owning a stretch limo and having a limo driver on staff in the 80s.
Over-promise and under-deliver, the *Tesla Way* ™®©
I suppose they could just plug in an Xbox/PS5 controller and control it that way. (and hope that controller doesn't die at the wrong time or get stick drift lol)
Boy, that is a whole other layer. Lol
Funny how he just shoots his mouth off about something, and then when it's actually made, it turns out he didn't even bother to have his legal team research the issue before spending all that money.
"Next year!" I love you. The check's in the mail. I promise not to c............
At least the CyberToaster has more than 2 seats.
They don't care about delivering anything, as long as the stock keeps inflating.
The only thing Testicle manufactures is lies.
The only thing they are trying to pitch is higher stock prices.
But what are they actually pitching to investors? A B C ?
Fantasy.
Tesla fanboys love using ramping up delays as an excuse
He makes promises that are legally impossible on purpose so that he can blame outside factors for failing. Now he can say "I was going to deliver on my promise but government didn't let me".
Cool. Watch him do it illegally and nobody will stop him
Tesla isn't a Asteroid mining company, it's a Mars planet Real Estate company
He removed those because he's Cheap that's literally it. Fffs even movies in the 90s that had future self driving cars had a pop out steering wheel so the driver could take over it's not hard to see situations were you would need to take over.
It will be a long wait…
The Red Spot is its anus…
You misspelled “plants”
Stairway To Heaven
Not a problem at all, just have the orange guy right an exception. He gets to write all the other laws so why not?
We'll need to get M.C. Escher to draw it.
"We’ll need a new line to tow them all." Can't they just self-drive themselves to the dump?
Reminds me of this [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u\_Tx1SG0Clw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_Tx1SG0Clw)
Funny enough though, cheap EVs are plentiful elsewhere. I paid about $20k USD equivalent for my MG4 EV, and the BYD Atto 1 looks fantastic at around $15K USD in Australia.
What episode? I dont seem to recall that one.
lol. People claim Trump is corrupt because everyone he associates with ends up in jail at some point but the moment the subject changes they suddenly claim Republicans are immune to the law.
Rich people in general are far better able to avoid justice whilst it is extremely rare for elected governmental officials to face any kind of criminal action for acts taken during their employment regardless of what side they are on. Plenty of non political Trump associates have gone to jail.
And he suddenly shows up at the White House. Makes you wonder
It feels like fraud to make knowingly false claims to public shareholders, but what do I know.
More market manipulation.
full cancer? Even the worst of the worst GBM you'd still live longer with than surviving on Europa
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