the-real-shim-slady
2025-10-02 15:26
Darn, you should've written that it's not financial advice at the top of the text, not the bottom. While reading what I thought to be an analysis I've bought what I could get my hands on, before this gets published in the financial times and starts a new hype. What am I gonna do with all the stocks now?
EvitaPuppy
2025-10-02 15:34
Diamond Hands!
Computers_and_cats
2025-10-02 15:39
Sadly see that happening somehow.
Krieg
2025-10-02 15:45
FSD was (again) announced to be released by the end of the year.
henlochimken
2025-10-02 16:16
Yeah but in 2035 the software will make a funny fart sound every time you run over a child at a stopped school bus
Nice_Forever_8677
2025-10-02 16:38
What a whiney b. Nothing factual in your post.
flying_butt_fucker
2025-10-02 16:41
lol
stanley15
2025-10-02 16:55
How much did he pay you to write his business plan? Bet he paid you in CyberTruckCoin...
Trevellation
2025-10-02 17:17
He paid them in Nazi propaganda retweets. Or re-Xes or whatever the fuck they're called now.
HystericalSail
2025-10-02 17:24
I can't help but notice a few factual errors in your post. Elon isn't selling 40 billion in shares, he's selling 40 quadrillion. Also, the revenue is not from hats, it's from booking FSD revenue from the past. Since we're now closer to self-driving than ever booking that revenue makes sense. Also, Tesla's market cap is larger than the GDP of Europe, it is true, but it's also larger than that the estimated GPD of the world, straight line projected in the year 2525.
For the cognitively impaired, the above paragraph is also parody/satire.
And still, Tesla is a bad short. Cult stocks like this can will gravity and run on air until the coyote looks down. The moment that happens is impossible to predict. Elon's fantastic at distracting the coyote, to keep him looking in every direction but down.
Far-Improvement-9266
2025-10-02 17:29
Dude, this should be an Onion article, but the chances of it coming true may not allow it to meet their criteria.
bent_neck_geek
2025-10-02 17:32
Wow, for a second I thought I was reading the Master Plan Part 4 (sorry, IV). Seriously, I decided to finally read it yesterday and I kept waiting for the Intro material to end and the details to begin and then I realized ...
That was it - that vague hand-waving crap WAS the master plan....
Who the f*$k buys this stock anymore?
And I say this as an owner of a Model 3. I like the car, but the company is heading into the toilet under Musk.
Teembeau
2025-10-02 17:33
2045: Tesla are struggling to get the Dogeship out of orbit, while the Japanese company Hitachi adds the Space Bullet Ship to nuclear power plants, smart fans, SSD drives and sex toys. There was a delay of 30 seconds on the first trip to Mars, which let to tearful apologies from the staff.
The news was greeted with nonchalence on WallStreetBets as many investors described Tesla as *not a space company*. Elon had demonstrated their new transcendence project, allowing people to depart from their physical form and be at one with the universe, although many people pointed out that the demonstration was actually Alec Guinness in Return of the Jedi.
Difficult-Roof-3191
2025-10-02 22:02
Market cap and GDP have zero correlation.
UndertakerFred
2025-10-02 22:06
Are all of the fully-paid reservations for the founders edition of the 2020 roadster transferable to children of the original buyers?
existonfilenerf
2025-10-02 22:14
Nothing factual in Elons promises either lmao.
External-Note-2719
2025-10-02 22:18
Yeah I've never seen such ridiculousness in the markets in 20 years, i appreciate the satire, but closer to truth then I'd like to admit. There's no more logic in markets it seems.
Basement_Chicken
2025-10-03 01:25
I remember when Enron was supposed to be all this and that. Now it's not Enron, it's Elon.
BringBackUsenet
2025-10-03 01:44
Ketamine fueled psychosis will put him out of commission long before this.
BringBackUsenet
2025-10-03 01:45
I though we was selling gift cards for Robotaxi rides.
BringBackUsenet
2025-10-03 01:46
Now he's L. Ron.
Master_Ad_3967
2025-10-03 06:58
Haha. Love it!
DisastrousIncident75
2025-10-03 08:07
It's the secret Master Plan Part DeuzX
dorchet
2025-10-03 12:40
thank you. i needed this laugh.
dorchet
2025-10-03 12:42
you missed the best part! it will also display a poop emoji on the screen as it turns off the automated driving feature 1 second before running over the child. uploads all the data before erasing itself, and calls the police on you for not paying attention to the road.
still love the car , he said, doing 15 years for vehicular manslaughter.
xt1nct
2025-10-03 18:21
Hold until death with the GME apes.
derdoktor
2025-10-03 21:34
This is the most accurate possible forecast of Tesla’s future
torokunai
2025-10-04 19:05
Plus the "I'd be shocked if we weren't _____ by _____".
torokunai
2025-10-04 19:30
Market cap is a summation of $/yr (profits) x n years x discount factor.
GDP is $/yr.
While you are correct that there is no 'correlation' here, they are comparable, for understanding how much current buyers/holders are expecting Tesla to scale in the future.
When market cap = GDP of a certain economy, the [rational] market is estimating the NPV of Tesla's future profits to be equal to the annual output of that economy.
Eg. at $1.3T, investors expect Tesla to add more value (actually it's PROFIT from this value) out to ~2050 than the 10M workers in Netherlands created this year.
jack-in-the-sack
2025-10-04 21:19
I'm sure that when SpaceX is in trouble financially, they will add the fart sound to Starship to play when it lands on the Chopsticks.
henlochimken
2025-10-05 01:54
Rocket crashes back to earth, Tesla stocks to the moon!
Difficult-Roof-3191
2025-10-06 01:03
> Market cap is a summation of $/yr (profits) x n years x discount factor.
You are flat out wrong. Market Cap = Share Price × Number of Outstanding Shares.
torokunai
2025-10-06 02:22
...which *is* tightly correlated with the NPV of all future profits (realistically, out to 2050).