My daughter and her husband use her clothes dryer outlet to plug in her tesla y to charge.

Ok. And?

Generally the charger is not designed to be routinely plugged and unplugged so your worries are valid. That being said, I am unsure of a switch that would accomplish what you’re asking but I’m not confident either

Do not use a heavy duty switch. The proper solution is to hire an electrician and do a safety check (which should include retorquing screws that hold wires). Tell them it's for connecting an EV charger to an exisitng outlet. Chances are that outlet was never rated for continuous power that EVs pull. At bare minimum, if you are DIY minded or do your own car maintenance, pop the breaker, pull the outlet and retorque the screws that hold the wires in place. If you are careful enough you can also turn off the main power and then remove the breaker and torque down it's screws. Then order a proper EV outlet (NOT from Amazon). You'll see some recommend in the evcharging subreddit.

don't do this. 99% of breakers cannot handle constant load of an EV car - your dryer is not constant power load - it is short bursts. The breaker can melt or catch fire - hence those reports of EV car fires - many were due to this and not because of the car batteries. The breaker you need costs more (like 100ish). "GFCI breaker often required (2023+ NEC for outlets; check local code)." With the added fun of - your insurance will NOT cover the costs if it causes an issue.

Best to install a heavy duty outlet.