Did Tesla Just Reveal A Secret CyberSUV Hidden In Plain Sight?

What if we took a ridiculous looking lemon of a truck that utterly failed and also make it an SUV!

Cybercoffin

Another product no one will buy but don't worry Optimus robot will save Tesla

I love that a profitable company with 30 billion in cash on hand needs to be saved.

Ten or fifteen made up projects from now, optimus may well be good enough to enter into the World Humanoid Robot Games, but its competitors will still have a twenty year lead.

Those are burger boxes.

I'd buy it.. if it was 39,900 and if musk wasn't a fascist.

Imagine doubling down on this? Can't wait for the announcement... 500 miles! $29k!

This was almost my exact thought. It is still ugly, but if it was affordable... Nope. Muskrat still sucks.

"Near infinite towing capacity."

Bring all of your friends and family along for a ride through town where everybody will mock and deride you! Join the tens of other idiots who bought this terrible vehicle!

1,000,000 pre-orders, just on the rumour!

From the article: "The idea is simple but potentially game-changing. Take the rugged-looking stainless steel wedge aesthetic of the pickup and shape it into a three-row SUV." That's not 'game-changing', *that's just a fucking SUV*. These people are just describing a fuck ugly version of a Chevy Suburban, and acting like it's a groundbreaking innovation. Tesla superfans are the most gullible people on earth, and the only thing Elon is actually good at is wringing money out of idiots like that.

Please Elon, do it. Show the world that it needs a CT SUV.

Fugly

Lmao, I really hope they make it. Will result in Tesla folding lmaoooooo

Stupid Useless Vehicle

Aw shit, here we go again.

Be Musk can do is 50 miles and $290k. Last offer mate.

I love how they say the new roadster didn't leak before it's debut, as if it has actually ever been shown as anything but a concept since taking deposits what like 8 years ago?

“Rugged-looking” is unintentionally apt.

And it floats!

King Wankpanzer

Buy one get one free?

A lot of that is creative accounting. But even if it isn’t, that’s not that much relative to the stock price compared to other companies. Some more poor sales, another flop product, actually facing repercussions for selling a fake product for a decade (current court case), and things could change quickly.

I dont think it's ever really been profitable without massive subsidies

It may already be too late to save Tesla. Without a compelling product is becoming obsolete, and automakers have high fixed costs. Not considering there might be Enron level book cooking going on in Tesla. I don't know when it'll happen, after all the market can stay irrational a long time, but when it does, I expect it'll unravel really fast.

>Such a model would give Tesla something that it has always lacked, a true full-size SUV to rival cars like the Cadillac Escalade IQ, Rivian R1S, and Kia EV9. Just a reminder that the Master Plan I was about to make an expensive EV to finance the design of a cheap EV. Ten years later, many automakers have cheaper EVs, despite starting later. Not Tesla.

"Built for families in the Apocalypse!"

Looks like a game graphic where the rendering engine is working off the principle of "640k should be enough for anyone"