Tesla Tries to Save the Cybertruck With Its Most Desperate Offer Yet

You mean to tell me these motherfuckers have been paying my monthly rent to have their cars drive into oncoming traffic? Truly, every single one of them has blown out their cash to brains ratio.

tldr; free fsd

Outch. That sure will hurt bottom line even if sales on Cybertruck go back up it will reduce profits they probably anticipated.

Some kind of anti-tesla bot is plastering this all around the internet. it's free FSD transfer for those that already bought FSD. a common thing on all other models. the thing is ugly though

They’d have to pay me…

It’s a delorean!  We know how that ends.

Ok. How about you give me  a free cybertruck with free FSD , free charging and pay for the Insurance?  On second thought, I still don't want it.

Nope

I’m sure their reputation will get a lot better once they start running into a bunch of people in self driving mode

story is deceptive. FSD transfer is not CT exclusive.

Cybertruck profits will come from the service centers in the future.

Does it still have the automatic “lock you in while you burn to death” feature?

The Cybertruck is a truck in drag.

Fixing damage from car washes hahahhahahaha

Right. Wouldn‘t that need much more cyber trucks to be around for servicing?

When they spend over half their lives at the center, no.

I’d rather live

Yes, of course.

FSD still showing as $8000 Edit: you can’t tldr if you didn’t read it yourself

Ugliest vehicle ever made.

Haha lol now I gotcha… sweet, great way to improve profits with a bad selling product. Pull forward the planned obsolescence.

Elon should just admit he fucked up... o wait... he could never do that

The Delorean was one of my favorite car designs purely on esthetics, I don’t particularly want to drive around in a soda can you know for safety reasons but it looks really cool.

I'm pretty sure Tesla's lack of quality and reliability does a great job of spreading word about it.

Free transfer of FSD, not free FSD. An important distinction

So you can crash it while thinking the shit software works and tezzla blames you when it happens

Alright Glenn Gulia

Lol…

Yeah, full self driving, of which they could pull back or brick it at anytime they chose with an involuntary software update. No thanks!

My thoughts exactly. I assumed they were showcasing FSD to feel better about their foolish purchase. They actually gave *more* money to tesla.... 😵‍💫

Fiat multipla ?

Free car accident. Thanks ketamine man.

Clickbait. Existing owners can transfer FSD to a CT. It costs Tesla nothing.

Call me when they are giving them away at a community event raffle 🎟

Hey don’t be so picky, they’re giving it to you for free

Wankpanzer.

A rather useless software with a rather useless car, you pay to get not one, but two rather useless things for one’s price, good deal

Tesla should cut their loses. Crush remaining inventory and focus on producing non-ketamine inspired vehicles.

Tesla is going to end up at least offering to buy back every cybertruck rather than try to support them in anyway. Gotta draw the line eventually.

“Don’t you love when cheap clothing stores have a buy-one-get-one-free sale? Look, folks, two of shit is shit. If they really want to fuck you, they’ll give you three.” —Dennis Miller (back when he was still funny.)

I've actually been seeing less of these fuglies on the road.

I'd take the offer, park it in my shed, and use it as a stationary battery.

at least the Multipla had a purpose

And an estinate Sales of 350k.Numbers the Cyber Truck will never achieve😅

free of charge, too!

Maybe my reading skills are falling off but I read you can transfer FSD from your older Tesla to a cybertruck which wasn’t available before.

Thank you. I was like did I read a different article or did you only read the headline?

They should market the WankPanzer as cheaper than a divorce, might actually boost sales....

Another safety feature is a wireless steering wheel - some extreme driving course people tested it and… it is a killing feature. And of course, it is ultimately safe for pedestrians.

Did you just insult the Swasticar?

Im offering free trips to the moon with every pack of cookies you purchase, technology for said trips coming soon.

Wireless controls are used in a great many things, like planes. So once again this is Elon inovating by doing something worse.

They'll do anything, but the ONE thing they will never do is have Elon apologize for being a N*zi. Think of how messed up you gotta be, where you'd rather suffer billions in losses than say sorry.

I know Elon didn’t design the thing but it always makes me think of his personality when I see it. Awkward, clunky and somewhere on the spectrum

I drove behind one yesterday and couldn’t help but think it looks simply unfinished. As if they had an idea and instead of crafting it fully, they just fucking gave up partway through the design process. Take how dumb Hummer drivers looked 10 years ago and multiply it by 100. That’s how dumb you look driving the cyber truck.

What a free F150 with every purchase?

Is that even possible?

They’ll even though in hot dogs and marshmallows so you can snack as you burn.

Free transfer of FSD from another Tesla where you’ve already bought it.

I’ll artificially inseminate you if you buy one! -Musk

Funny how a real board of directors would have ejected musk a decade ago

Wait, so now it comes with an Edsel?

Great, now these things are gonna be driving themselves around?

No thanks

Mobile trash can for me. Already looks like one

>Wireless controls are used in a great many things, like planes You mean fly by wire?

I don’t think that would save the CyberTrukkk even

And the existing owners already paid for it.

If it got down to about 20k I would consider it. Still looks like shit though.

Full Self Dying

Chuckles

Raccoons have been trying to break into them because they look like dumpsters.

Trans vehicle

I can see Leon Skums tears from here, so yes.

That's why I'd park it in my shed. I would have to check whether it fits though.

I'm going to be real with yall. I totally forget cybertrucks existed until I saw this article. That's how few of them, how irrelevant they are and how dead the fad is.

Its most valuable software? LOL, that's supposed to be the "FSD" trash fraud? That company...

No matter how much you pay me I don't want a self-crashing vehicle.

I rarely ever see them in Dallas (DFW). There are people on reddit who claim that they are everywhere as if it's a successful product. It's not. I drive a lot, and mostly in fairly affluent neighborhoods with plenty of Teslas. Like Flower Mound, Plano, Allen, Park Cities. But there are days, hundreds of miles total driving, and I see zero Cybertrucks. Not sure why some people pretend that they are a common sight. It's a flop.

hey hey hey, this is unfair. they're being considerate by giving you a free cremation. no other car company is doing the same innovative thing.

If that contraption was made by Apple or another company that still has DEI, Elon Must would ridicule it as a "Go Woke Go Broke" Flop. He is such a contradiction, on one hand acting extremely non-conservative (Cybertruck, electric cars in general, genetically controlling his offspring and naming them X2AE7ZV) and then shitting on the people who are actually open to ideas and supporting those who would never buy his products or support his lifestyle. I'm sure you would find enough votes from Republicans to make naming your child "X Æ A-12" illegal because it's too extreme "woke".

Wouldn't even work well for this. After a while it won't be mobile, it'll just be a trash can.

They won’t go up. There are only so many buttholes with that kind of disposable income who like EV:s, stupid angular ”trucks” and Nazi-CEOs.

Artificially?

Why?

If you wanted to go for the massively depreciated vehicle that is expensive to maintain, why not go for the Maserati Quattroporte?

I think you have to pay for that now too.

Ketameanie

Trans portation.

A+

What do you mean? I think the cybertruck was the only Tesler designed by Elon. The others had somewhat competent designers.

I remember when elon was showing a prototype of this truck before production and threw a rock live on stage? to try and demonstrate how tough the glass was, but rock manages to break the glass... extreme FAIL

Self driving Tank on wheels, what could go wrong???

> I'd take the offer, park it in my shed, and use it as a stationary battery. Is your shed fireproof?

Planes also have an inspection routine that rivals nuclear power plants. Does the Tesla?

All good until it burns down your shed

You're right, but on the other hand, he has mostly made Stonk Go Up, which is every CEO's prime directive.

At least that looks good!

If this is the most desperate offer yet, they are not desperate enough. They are not giving away anything, they only allow you to take FSD from another car and put it into the cyberstruck.

The stupidest part is that even if it DID work and was unbreakable, how does a first responder break it in the event of an accident or someone unresponsive inside the vehicle? Or even worse, it catches on fire and in usual Tesla fashion the doors auto lock?

You can transfer your 'not working' FSD if you buy a new Cybertruck. I wonder if anyone dong this thinks about it. Basically saying we will let you move your aftermarket lights and put them on your new truck when you buy it.

FSD had never worked and as courts have found was missold. They should allow you to transfer it to another Tesla if you are stupid enough to get a new car. Until it’s not a beta it shouldn’t be treated as a product or car upgrade

I was expecting "Buy 1, get 1 free" just to clear out the stock.

That won’t do a damn thing for sales.

At least that would eliminate the mice living it it. Not sure about the groundhog underneath though.

He doesn't need to, the facts speak for themselves.

the fire hazard alone isn't worth it, you're better off connect 1000 laptop batteries

I do think this is really about the upcoming end of credits. They are going to have their margins compressed, and this is one sign.

Yeah cause they will get you on the maintenance

Yesterday, I told my wife that Hummers look significantly less stupid in the age of cybertrucks.

Waste management will buy them. Throw your trash in the back and it drives itself to the landfill.

Total click bait. Tesla runs these FSD transfers at EOQ often.

Send them to the cities with sanitation labor actions.

Yeah, adding the self dying mode won't help matters. Besides anything else, the thing is ugly and shoddily put together. Add to that the nonexistent tow rating, can only refuel in urban areas and the political statement you implicitly make by driving it I don't think you could give these away for free.

The thing is made of knives. I don't want to die that way and I don't want to kill anyone that way. It shouldn't even be legal.

I was a No but free hot dogs and marshmallows is hard to turn down

Yes. I was drawing a blank on the proper term, thank you.

Not if Elon has anything to say about it. And considering Boeing's issues, uh do we need to improve the stringency of Nuclear Power Plant inspections?

Full Self Crashing for free!

Why would anyone buy a failing EV that could just be bricked after it's cancelled and no longer supported.

Ugly yes but solved a challenge and did it well

Exactly.

That's not a bad idea.

Self driving on an already dangerous shit box modern molester van. Such a joke.

Trash Pandas!\ I'd take one if it would get me trash Pandas pals!

Might cook 'em. The WankPanzer burns like a sun! 5000F, 2700C.

But why throw that rock in the first place?\ Presumably one of his engineers would have been like: "Uuuh, boss if you throw a rock at the window it'll break, bad optics all around!" But I guess either Must didn't ask, or he fired those who tried to warn him.🤷

Tesla has two fundamental designs, the original Model S from which all their other cars were derived, and this abomination clearly the work of Elon.

I'm not sure what the why is about, and im not the person you responded to... but ill give this a shot: 1. Why it looks unfinished: Because it is very unrefined, it looks like a kids drawing come to life a not the polished finished product we have come to expect of car makers. I understand thats an intentional aesthetic, but it is the reason why so many people say it looks unfinished. 2. Drivers of them look dumb because they spent (or committed to spend) a not insignificant amount of money on a car which appears to be a lemon. A car where you can only get it serviced by the vendor and thats subject to delays and the whim of the vendor wanting to perform work on it. Add in that at this point its more dangerous than the pinto was... and owners seem pretty dumb to have bought them.

Gremlin? ... never mind yeah it's still uglier. [**https://www.motortrend.com/features/ugly-cars**](https://www.motortrend.com/features/ugly-cars) Sigh... you win, its the undisputed champ.

nope if Microsoft was good back in the day getting us to shell out money to beta test their operating system.. then Tesla is god getting people to shell out 5 figures to beta test software which could actually kill you or someone else.

not free... these idiots already dropped 12k on that bag of shit when they bought the box of shit (car).

So jealous... There are only a few in my area... but they haven't burst into flames yet.

he really has a fetish for the letter X doesn't he.

with making a classic movie?

I still cannot imagine why anyone sane would spend $12,000 for glorified cruise control that is neither full, self, nor driving.

I saw someone on one of their subs say they put $12K down **on a lease** so that monthly payments could be $800. It was on a post where they were complaining about build quality, but still took delivery. Still loved the truck tho.

Buy one get four free?

Yeah. My son keeps trying to get me to buy a tesla bc of some cheap lease deals. I tell him I like staying alive for now.

"Tesla is making an aggressive, almost desperate, move" Ehhh that "aggressive and desperate" move is allowing a free transfer of FSD? Hyperbole much? Last time it was also aggressive and desperate, and it was something like 0% interest on a loan.

That’s cool but the resale value of Tesla cars suck..

They could pay me to drive it and I still wouldn’t drive it. Even if it were free.

I said 20k. Plus I already have a charger installed. I'm waiting to see what happens with the Ford lightning when they roll back the rebates. I've seen a couple low miles ones for about 40k and I might go for it if I can find one for 30

*taps forehead* Customers can't leave bad reviews if they and their whole family are reduced to ashes inside a car that is very prone to mechanical failures

I can’t imagine the insurance premiums on these things. I got a quote for a new Model Y when I was considering one and that alone tripled my payment (current car is a 2020 Honda accord). Hard pass.

Lol! I didn't even think of that! You're right!

Use them as mobile garbage cans. Instead of the garbage truck coming to your business to dump your dumpster, the dumpster drives itself to the dump, one way trip of course, using your cyber truck as a dumpster voids your warranty.

At least the Quattroporte can still be maintained a few years from now

Can't be long until the frames give out

And has no retail value, has poor quality control, and gets you laughed at.

It's not wireLESS, it's drive-by-wire. Meaning electrical wire, no physical linkage between steering and wheels, but still an electrical wire. It's connected to the internal network, EtherLopp (or musk-bus), Tesla's version of CAN-bus. Not that it matters much, when power dies or musk-bus crashes, your steering goes bye-bye.

He already did. Two years ago he said "We Dug Our Own Grave With Tesla Cybertruck" but production volumes weren't the real problem - ironically they've made too many- lol

It's available for all their cards, fsd transfer. Seems desperate - the thought was people will rush to buy with ev credit ending in 2 months. I wonder what they'll do when ev credit is gone?

I don't think "wireless" means what you seem to think it means.

Wow, you can get software that doesn't work if you buy the ugly truck that also doesn't work ? Who could resist such an offer ? 😂

Oh look, no matter what Musk’s company does, no one wants a Swasticar! What a surprise that no one wants to buy a car from a Nazi

Is that why they call it the killer app?

The article states they are aiming for loyal Tesla customers with this offer. But haven’t those loyal Tesla customers already bought this POS?

The person who buys the old Tesla doesn't get FSD. Just another scam from Elmo.

takes up too much space, might randomly turn into a call of fire

Not remotely a good sales offer when they let you keep something you've already bought, they could sell out 100% of their inventory if they actually offered good incentives again like 2021 and before.

Where is Munro...

Tesla seems to be a little confused. I usually get paid to beta test other people’s products, not vice versa

Aha! Free solar energy

They are giving away the software that will steer you into oncoming traffic if you trash Elmo online. Hard pass

They're only doing this because they're gonna have to replace millions of old computers in their cars anyways.

Elon is a "design expert." lol

Have you used it? I've driven from Denver to whistler and back on almost all FSD.

You have to have already blown $12,000 on FSD for another TESLA. So not exactly free. Just a free portability on software they usually require you to pay for multiple times without being able to use it in its intended use once. So still a scam.

They are slowly disappearing in LA too. Only a few 4chan edge lords in OC & West LA still driving around in them. Pre-Nazi salute they where all over the place. The multiple recalls & Leon's antics really killed it.

Sweet, we surround a bonfire with solar panels and keep feeding it Elon's midlife crisis of a car!

This!!!! Are they fixing any of the issues?

Not much of an offer to be honest.

That's standard with Teslas.

Usually I'd say "yeah, so that so I can sell it and buy a decent car for the money" But in this case I'd probably have trouble selling it lol.

But FSD is Not FSD, Right? So basically they are trying to make you buy the truck by giving you something for free which they can‘t sell because it doesn’t do what it says in the can? Peak post truth era behavior here

A better deal would be free grade A extra large eggs and filet Mignon for life, forget the POS truck.

Some of these were derivative, but not horrible - and they inexplicably omitted the Pacer and Gremlin. But the writing was hilarious. Thanks - I needed the laughs. And yes, the Wankpanzer is still uglier.

My bil got his stupid truck like four months ago and it’s already rusting! What a waste of money.

Embarrassing just to own and drive one.

Ford Pinto no longer available??

They are so ugly.

I don't get it, they are offering the FSD trade in on all new Tesla's and why did they use the 12k value when it's only 8K if you were to purchase?

It might catch fire in your shed. Wouldn't want to lose a perfectly good shed.

Will you pay me $100k then I’ll take it

Came to comment this but you’re right he was talking more about production whereas anyone in touch with reality would realize an 8 year olds impractical sketch and a ketamine fueled idiots spec list made for something only a bunch of rubes or fame/ attention seekers would buy